Thank you Morgan!
I could not agree more.
In fact, even though I live in the Deep, (Very Deep) South, I really like
the posters and would LOVE to see them plastered all over my little college
town.
Honestly, why do we think nothing of a wet T-shirt contest at a local
college party? Why do we think nothing of the cheerleaders fundraising car wash and
all those young women hanging out, jumping up and down with car wash signs
along a busy thoroughfare?
Why? because in the 1960s and 1970s our sisters, aunties, parents, kids,
started baring it all and making no apologies to the social status keepers of
their time.
We think nothing of seeing reality TV with young unmarried couples jumping
in and out of bed with each other - can you believe that it has only been a
little over 20 years since even married couples on American TV slept in single
beds?
The best way to tackle this societal disapproval is head on. Let's get
images like these out there so when the next generation of young mothers are
having their babies it is a non-issue.
In the meantime we can continue to help the young mothers of today find ways
of breastfeeding that makes them feel safe, secure, and not threatened.
Laura Wright
, BA, LLLL, IBCLC, RLC, CLE
TOLL FREE BREASTFEEDING HELP IS AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A DAY
CALL 877 4 LA LECHE (877 452 5324).
In response to:
Date: Wed, 20 Jun 2007 20:37:12 +0100
From: Morgan Gallagher <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Language and Culture - The Spectre At The Feast
There are some points I've made before, about how we talk about nursing,
and I feel it's appropriate to mention them again, in terms of the
current discussions on the Nova Scotia posters. The points are mostly
to do with using the word 'discreet', and what we do to ourselves, when
we choose this word over others, when discussing nursing.
I feel it's appropriate to raise it as there are several strands to
conversations, that are actually discussing complex processes, and I
think it's useful to open out those processes more fully.
To those of us who have expressed concern about the posters being too
indiscreet, and how they put a lot of work into reassuring mothers about
not having to expose breasts, I'd like to reframe those statements as an
experiment in language:
"I spend a lot of time supporting mothers in helping them feel safe
about nursing. Our area is very condemning of the human body, and many
mothers feel anxious about feeling vulnerable, threatened or exposed
when nursing their infants. So we do a lot of work on how they can
nurse their infants in a way that makes them feel safe."
Vs
"I teach mothers to nurse discreetly. There's absolutely no need to
expose a breast or nipple when nursing a baby."
To my mind the second statement doesn't say very much about what the
issues are, and how we are helping mothers with those issues. Nursing
your newborn is (often) a time of feeling exposed, fragile and
vulnerable. Learning 'how to do it' is a fraught time for new mothers,
I know, I was one recently, and one where we do need support to help
nurse in ways that make us feel safe and comfortable. Every mother who
needs that support, deserves to have it.
However, my point is, that this is entirely different from making
statements about discreetness. As I have said previously, as soon as we
choose to use the word 'discreet', we raise the spectre of the
indiscreet mother, whipping it all out, regardless of sensibilities. A
powerful spectre of intolerance about a women's body. A spectre who
allows base language to be used against women's bodies. A spectre, who
haunts the debates on nursing openly. My point is we should stop
inviting this spectre by choosing not to use the word.
It also hides what the issue actually is. For the issue isn't how much
breast is exposed, it's how hostile our culture is to both women's
bodies, and nursing infants via that body. And when we try and 'hide'
the breast in order to apologise for nursing our infants, we feed into
that culture. We need to stop apologising. "Discreet" is a word of
apology.
If we choose not to use the word, we end up having to name what the
issues actually are. We have to start talking about safety, threat,
feeling intimidated and exposed. An emotional exposure, only
tangentially linked to a physical one. We have to acknowledging we are
talking about genuine anxiety about being condemned for nursing. There
is no sliding scale of 'acceptable' nursing (discreet) and 'not
acceptable' (indiscreet). There is only how safe and secure each mother
feels in each situation.
I hope I've made it clear that I'm talking abut the use of a word, not
the need to help and support mothers by allowing them to nurse as they
choose to. I'm presuming that all of you who have spoken out against
the posters have done so from a genuine feeling that, in your own
situation, they may not be helpful; as the level of anxiety already
present in your local culture might result in counter productive
reactions to it. This is an extremely valid point, and one size does
not fit all. The very fact that they are designed for Nova Scotia, says
much about Nova Scotia! It would be ridiculous to suggest they were
perfect for every culture and location, just because I liked them! :-)
There is an issue of making official representation about what should be
acceptable - but others have dealt with that wonderfully!
However, if you were genuinely left feeling that those posters offended
you - as opposed to might make your job harder - then you need a reality
check. This is the year 2007, and the right of a women to nurse her
infant in the fashion displayed in these posters has been established a
thousand million times: deal with it.
And finally, as always, I feel the personal need to point out that every
time you choose to talk about teaching mothers to nurse discreetly (as
opposed to supporting them in nursing safely and comfortably) and when
you talk about how easy it is to be 'discreet' - you condemn so many
infants to premature weaning. For no mother can nurse an active 2 year
old 'discreetly'. Every time you say "It's easy not to expose a breast"
you make comment on how it's _right_ not to expose a breast, and condemn
mothers to feeling that nursing has to cease when the infant is old
enough to makes its own statement. Would it be such a huge stretch to
say "Here's ways to nurse that might make you feel safer." as opposed to
saying "Here's how to nurse discreetly."?
Mother of nursing toddlers everywhere, would thank you for using the
former, and avoiding the latter.
Morgan Gallagher
Online Lactaneer
Still nursing her 29 month old son, despite the occasional flash of nipple
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