> MOTHERS
> Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we
only
> expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last
for a
> lifetime.                   Maybe we need a maintenance manual for
mothers so
> we would know how to take care of them at least as well as we do our
> automobiles.                                                       Here
are
> some items that might be included in such a manual:
> Engine:  A mother's engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can
find.
> She can reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a
sleeping
> child.  But regular breaks are needed to keep up that peak performance.
> Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby sitter and a
night
> out every 1,000 miles and a live in baby sitter with a one week vacation
every
> 10,000 miles.
> Battery:   Mother's batteries should be recharged regularly.  Handmade
items,
> notes, unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent "I LoveYou's" will do
very
> well for a recharge.
> Carburetor:  When a mother's carburetor floods, it should be treated
> immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder.
> Brakes:  Se that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a
full
> stop occasionally.  (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest.)
> Fuel:  Most mothers can run indefinately on coffee, left overs and
salads, but
> occasionally needs a dinner or two at a nice resturant to add to her
> efficiency.                                Chassis:  Mothers, when their
> bodies are properly maintained, need regular exercise and should be
provided
> for as necessary such as a change in hairdo or makeup in the spring and
fall.
> If you notice the chassis begging to sag, immediately start a program of
> walking, jogging, swimming, or bike riding.  These are most effective
when
> done with fathers.               Tune-ups:  Mothers need regular
tune-ups.
> Compliments are both the cheapest and most effective way to keep a mother
> purring contentedly.                                               If
these
> instructions are followed consistantly, this fantastic creation and gift
from
> God, that we call MOTHER should last a lifetime and give good service and
> constant love to those who need her most.