Many parents are nervous (when I show up) that I will pressure them to do
something they think they don't want to do.  I try first to make friends,
create some connection, and then preface the next phase  by saying something
along the lines of:  "My job is to tell you the facts about how bfg works
(how milk supply is calibrated, what normal volumes look like, what the ref.
data on normal growth is, ect.) It is also my job to assess your situation
and describe outloud what I see.  Finally, I will make suggestions about
what I think might help you reach your goals.   Your job is to consider the
things I tell you, decide what you want to do, and to follow-through to the
extent that you can.  I don't judge that part and will support whatever you
decide to do b because you are the parents and this is your baby."

Once I relinquish control back to the proper parties, people most often feel
pretty safe to consider what I have to say and to act on the suggestions.
It's funny how exerting too much control has exactly the opposite of the
desired effect.  Detatchment from the ownership of the problem and from the
results works wonders.  This doesn't mean you don't work very hard on the
part of the deal that does belong to you:  a smart and thorough assessment
and a viable plan.

Barbara Wilson-Clay, BS, IBCLC
Austin Lactation Associates
LactNews Press
www.lactnews.com
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