I'm still catching up on LN from my vacation and it's not easy to reply in
the archive mode (probably keeps me from talking too much!).  I have one
thought about this subject that I haven't seen mentioned yet.  Mom's milk
will "come in" whether she pumps or not.  If baby does die and she is
pumping, she can ease off gradually and not be as uncomfortable physically.
And as was mentioned, some moms find it very fulfilling to provide their
milk to a milk bank while they are "drying up" so that another baby can
benefit.
I always approach these moms very honestly (as long as they have already
been given the prognosis).  I'll say something like. "We know there's a
chance the baby may not make it.  Many moms in your situation find that if
they can provide some milk for their baby, or at least have it available if
baby can take something, that they feel better about it.  If you want to
start pumping now, I will show you how to do it and give you some tips.  If
you prefer to wait until this has all sunk in, I will understand that."
Some moms do want to start pumping, some want to wait a day or so to see how
baby does, but I let her make the choice.  In these situations, moms don't
often have many choices.  To assume either that she WILL or WON'T want pump
is taking away what little power she does have.
Winnie

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