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From:
Susan Johnson <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 6 Oct 2008 11:16:37 -0700
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Of course attachment parenting principles enhance breastfeeding and of course breastfeeding is a practice that falls under an AP umbrella.  But the concepts are fluid.  

I find little value in drawing walls to define breastfeeding/nursing/attachment parenting since the walls are arbitrary and, well, walls.  I see no purpose in erecting definitions that divide people unnecessarily.  

What makes more sense to me is to talk about specific practices, specific needs, specific traits.  Directing attention to behaviors, practices, and needs makes it easier for all of us to discuss the ways mothers, fathers, and children are together -- or not.

I think it's empowering to speak of attachment parenting as a concept.  I think it's dividing to say AP is when you do x, y, and z.  There's a spectrum and mothers may slide up and down that spectrum in a day or over the years with different children, partners, lifestyle arrangements.

Here's a common example:
Mom is breastfeeding, working part time, and having mixed feelings about sleep interruptions at night.  She goes to her AP resource (online, book, parenting group, whatever).  She may hear different things:
"You shouldn't sleep with your baby or you won't get enough sleep or marital peace."
"If you work away from your child and sleep apart, you're not attachment parenting."
"Separation doesn't matter, it's the quality of your time together that counts."
Maybe there's a grain of truth and a sharp lie caught in each.  But what's really going to help her?  Maybe things like this:
"Sleeping apart, especially if you're already separated for work, will have an effect on your milk supply -- and it's a pretty big step in weaning.  How do you feel about that?"
"Who cares about labels!  How do you feel about the direction you're taking?"
"You're not alone."
"Can your baby come to work with you?"
"It's normal for children that age to want to be with you at night.  It's normal for children that age to nurse a lot.  It's normal to have mixed feelings when your body says one thing and society says another."

I've noticed an enormous difference over the years in our different attitudes here on Lactnet toward normal breastfeeding practices.  AP is even tougher to research or measure.

I don't think we should think in terms of labels because we may block ourselves from seeing truth right in front of us.  As noted in other recent threads, defining something we are only beginning to understand limits everyone concerned.  For example, if a mother expresses her milk and her baby receives 100% of her milk by bottle AND we call it breastfeeding, what will we call it when a mother puts her baby to her breast for 100% of her milk?  What does the word "breastfeeding" now mean to us?  What does it mean to the two mothers and the two babies?

I'm for clarity.  I'm for simple truth and all we have yet to learn.

Susan Johnson MFA, IBCLC
Salt Lake City, Utah USA




      

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