I spend a lot of time talking to moms about how our culture negates our 
"mother instincts" in the name of science.  I urge them to listen to 
their instincts and go with them -- they're almost always right!  Follow 
your heart.  Guidelines aren't rules, as you say.  The "inner voice" you 
refer to has been suppressed in most moms for so long that it takes a 
lot of encouragement for them to find it again!  All they hear are the 
voices of the others in their lives (relatives, peds, OBs, tv shows and 
mag ads and articles, "information" put out by formula cos, etc.).  Our 
species survived for millenia on instincts; our distrust of them is 
pretty recent.  I often think that's why moms return to LLL meetings -- 
because they are validated in their parenting, they aren't told how to 
do it (other than BF basics), and they see moms and babies interacting 
in a natural, instinctive way for the first time in their lives!

Margi


Kim Ann Lorber wrote:
>  
> In a message dated 4/26/2006 11:49:32 A.M. Central Standard Time,  
> [log in to unmask] writes:
>
> We need  to remember that new moms 
> are in the formal  acquisition of  parenting, and want to do it RIGHT.  They 
> want rules, and  they  will listen to everyone -- and get horrendously 
> confused 
> if they get   differing opinions.  
>
> [snip]
>  
> I try to convey that the "right way" and the "rules" (ie bf 8-12 times and  
> other things like that) are guidelines for the general mom/baby pair but then  
> *you* and *baby* find what works for you both and something always works  
> differently for everyone. Try and find your inner voice and your baby's voice  and 
> follow it after hearing all the many different things about breastfeeding. 
>   

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