I, too, am fascinated by this discussion of approaches to the care of women and babies.  I speak 
as a rhetorician when I second Jennifer Tow's observation that *no one* disagrees with Betsy's 
assertion that women should not be harangued about a bell that cannot be unrung.  No one on 
this list would advocate going to a new mother's bed and saying, "Wow, now that you've had a 
highly intervened-upon birth, and given your baby some formula, all is lost and little can be 
salvaged."  

When one makes an argument in which she attributes all sorts of nasty behavior and ideas to her 
perceived opponent (all of which almost anyone would unequivocally reject), she has created what 
we rhetoricians call a "strawman" (or in this case, a strawwoman...).  This is not a legitimate way to 
argue, but many do it, because it is easier to tear down a monster of ones own creation than to 
engage a real, live, intelligent person who is challenging ones worldview.

One reason I love lactnet is that its contributors rarely sink to this level.

And two observation as a mother.  My first child was born in a US teaching hospital.  No one on 
the staff supported unmedicated childbirth (my HMO dictated that I give birth at this hospital.  
Engaging a midwife to attend a homebirth cost more money than we had).  The nurse who 
attended me at the hospital called unmedicated childbirth "medieval."  I gave in.  Yes, I take 
responsibility for giving in, but having every single person at that hospital scoff at the notion of 
not getting an epidural didn't help.  I know that the subsequent challenges my son and I faced 
postpartum in all likelihood had a great deal to do with the interventions we received.  Am I mad 
at the people who helped me see that connection?  Goodness no.  They are the same people who 
supported me through 10 months of exclusive BF and nursing him until his fourth birthday.  

My second child was born in a BFHI hospital in the UK, but I was lucky enough to labor at home 
and come to the hospital only a short time before delivery.  You know why?  Because a midwife 
with HORRIBLE social skills told me the truth in a militant, patronizing, upsetting way. When I 
called the hospital at 11:30 PM to tell her I wanted to come in, she said, "I don't here in your voice 
that you are ready.  I see that you came in this morning and weren't really in labor.  You can't just 
come and go.  If you come now, you have to stay. And if you come in now, the doctors will 
probably have to get involved and you'll be hooked up to an IV."  She upset me.  My labor slowed a 
bit.  I cried at how she had spoken to me.  BUT, I heeded her advice and had six more lovely hours 
at home with my husband (my parents and son slept through all of it!), and was almost ready to 
deliver when I got to the hospital at 6:00 AM.  

The truth is a good thing.  It is much better if we here it in a loving way at the right time.  And I 
wish that midwife had been nicer.  Her tone and attitude are not models to be imitated.  But boy 
am I glad she was candid with me.  

Betsy describes women who hear the truth and still choose medicalized births and formula use.  
She suggests that her colleagues should not behave judgmentally toward these people.  No one on 
this list is suggesting that anybody behave judgmentally toward these women.  I know that Diane 
Weissinger wrote recently that when a woman has all the information and support she needs and 
chooses not to breastfeed, that is not a bad thing.  Right now most US women do not, however, 
get anything remotely close to adequate information and support for optimal breastfeeding.  
Arguments that we should censor ourselves as we endeavor to right this wrong are troubling, to 
say the least.  


Kerry Ose, PHD

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