In reply to Cheryl Parrots posting on the 24th (I am still a bit behind)
(re 3 moms that stopped bf'g.

And exactly how many moms manage to carry on a satisfying breastfeeding relationship due to your
compassionate assistance? 

Long ago I learned that we cannot always be there for everyone. We have to take into account that our ultimate goal is to empower the moms so that they will be able to carry on without us seeing or speaking to them every single day. There will always be those who will decide to give up, but I don't for one minute feel that we are to be blamed. (even though it feels like you either want to cry or knock some sense into them). There are those who we spend literally all of our waking hours either physically assisting them, or following up with calls because we are as anxious as they when things aren't going just right. We want to know how they managed so even if we have spent hours with them, we are the ones to call them up to find out how they have managed with our advice. (and what would happen if they would call to let us know??? and I don';t mean to bash all the moms either (for a change) but often  we chase them up. I am always so thankful and express appreciation for those who do actually call me to share and thank me! But I have come not to expect that.  How many of us have spent sweat and tears, finally getting that preemie to take the breast, we go and consult with all our medical laison people to find out about very special cases and IMHO we go way beyond the call of duty (especially as volunteers!) only to follow up and find out that after we have gone through everything possible - (expressing milk for months!, encouragement calls for those same months!, being present when the baby arrives home to ensure getting off to a good start, follow up visit, calls, consults, etc..........) to find that a week later after all is "fine" the baby is being put to the breast ONCE A DAY!!!!!! Disappointment - yes. But more. sorry for the baby, and sorry for the mom who obviously just didn't "get it".

After a number  of these things happen, one can lose sight of the positive outcomes of our efforts.
We have to remain positive and remember all those special cases and moms who really benefitted and will yet benefit from our care.  Some moms are also looking for a "way out" or a legitimization of their (lesser) choice.  We can just wish them good luck and enjoyment from raising their children.  Those who are really committed to bf'g will state this and try even harder. I find some of those, (I don't want to say Most because I don't have the stats to support it) don't sound even that remorseful. Meaning that they are satisfied with their decision.  WE have to move on to the next moms waiting in line and start with renewed enthusiasm that we will be able to help them and empower them to help themselves. We cannot possibly have 100% success rates. I don't think anyone does in any field.!

Ellen Shein, IBCLC in a sad Israel today and for the past few days.
thanks to those of you who sent private messages.

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