I am deeply perplexed by all these accusations (especially the Dworkin
article) about breastfeeding making mothers feel guilty etc. etc. I was up
quite late last night trying to think of a single other instance in life
where anyone gives a rat's patootie about women feeling guilty. There just
aren't any. Women are made to feel terribly guilty if they are too fat, if
their nails are too thin, hair too limp, asthmatic children are said to be
the product of "smothering" or "unaffectionate" (depending on the year)
mothers, it goes on and on. You are guilty if you go back to work; guilty if
you don't. Guilty if you resume sex after childbirth, extra-guilty if you
don't want to. And look at this advert I received recently in the mail for a
migraine medicine:

http://www.michelledepesa.com/zomigad.jpg

and don't forget the crash-test- dummy PSA with its not-so-subtle hints
about where you'll spend eternity if you don't put your child in a car seat
(see Kathy D.'s post on this).

YET -- mention breastfeeding, and folks come out of the woodwork from all
walks of life, (but especially book writers and hcp's) waving their hands
and begging us not to make parents (especially *mothers*) feel guilty! Can
it all be chalked up to the obvious fact that there is a very expensive
consumer product at the end of this "protection" (one that after just a few
"hits" the user is hooked)? Or is it more than that.

Books (even those by Sears and Sears) commonly succumb to this as well. The
authors list all the fabulous reasons to "choose" breastfeeding and their
info sometimes good, but then it sums up a segment on bottlefeeding by
asserting that if you choose bottlefeeding "whatever your reasons" you
should not feel guilty, ABM fed kids do fine too, etc. I see this all the
time. Everywhere parents are urged to consider the ramifications of their
choices - EXCEPT with breastfeeding. The problem with this pre-emptive
assuaging of assumed guilt is that it really is inappropriate reassurance.
Anyone on the fence about breastfeeding will stop when they see that kind of
info, or read the Dworkin article or similar. I know I do this a lot. When I
wanted to hear that ibuprofin was ok to use during pregnancy, I kept looking
until I found a source that said so - I read the warnings, got concerned -
*but kept looking* until I found the reassurance I was after then *stopped*
looking. I see this often with women who are ambivalent or undecided about
breastfeeding. It only takes one such bit of evidence and the search ends.
This is what worries me the most, because that inappropriate reassurance is
everywhere (as we saw in the "pros of bottlefeeding" handout many of us
critiqued).

Michelle DePesa

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