I'm coming out of lurkdom to take a stab at this one.  Two things come to
mind:

1)  Female physicians, whether as a consequence of circumstances or design,
don't have much exposure to the demands of motherhood.  They may see patients
who are mothers, or have acquaintances who are mothers, but they don't have
many opportunities to commiserate with peers (meaning physicians) who are
struggling with these issues.  Furthermore, many physicians have difficulty
taking advice from someone other than a physician peer.  After all, we know
everything, don't we?
I have been priveleged to have a group of friends, all female physicians and
mothers, who meet periodically for a playdate with the children.  We can
compare notes on the juggling act that is motherhood combined with a practice
and realize that the conflicts are basically the same for everyone.

2)  Physicians in general have a need for control.  Learning that these
little people are not just going to bend to our schedule can be a very hard
lesson.  I have watched many friends make this transition, some gracefully,
others not.  I  would never have believed that I would be a sling wearing,
cosleeping, extended nursing mom prior to negotiating this transition myself.

As for suggestions, the most impact would probably be mentoring from a peer.
Short of that, would she consider working less, at least while her baby is an
infant?
I find that working more than 20-30 hrs a week is too much for my family.

Leigh Fredholm MD, FAAFP
(Who was forced to make big changes in her life upon discovering that she was
pregnant with twins.  Fortunately, the twins came first and paved the way for
their baby sister, who has it made!)

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