At the start of every breastfeeding consult, I invite Mom to nurse her baby in whatever way she feels most comfortable.  At times the position that she chooses does not look too comfortable to me, but this is her baby and her body and I will follow her lead.  Invariably, the Mom chooses an upright position (or what I call an anti-gravity position).  In most cases to get a deep latch in an anti-gravity position, Mom does need to bring the baby to the breast.  Is this "pushin and shovin"?  I don't consider it in such aggressive terms - but the mother is bringing the baby to the breast and is often more successful if she does so swiftly, so I could understand if it seems like a "push".  From that point on, I try to help Mom find the most comfortable set up for her in her chosen position.  Usually this involves getting Mom to lean back and relax.  Sometimes baby needs to be adjusted so that he can relax and not have his airway compromised.  

I always tell families that there is not one right way to nurse.  I have tips to share, but they are for Mom to consider and decide what will work for her and her baby.

Fortunately, Moms have a second breast.  After the first side, I suggest we try a position that lets the baby have more control and allows Mom to relax - usually some degree of laid back.  Some Moms decline and want to stick with their favorite position.  Or some try laid back and hate it.  Many love the new position and can't wait to try it at home.  Key to all of this, I believe, is allowing Mom to lead and expressing confidence and respect for whatever position she chooses. 

I'd describe this approach more as "followin' and relaxin'" (and I guess "educatin'" and "cheerin'"as well).  I wanted to share because as a follower - I don't think there are any absolute rules.  What seems like a push to some may be a step towards the most successful position for this mother / baby pair.  

Ellen

Ellen Rubin, MA, IBCLC, LLLL  

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