Rachel, thank you for such a well-written and sweet post. Your comment about
giving birth and then not being able to nurse leaving a void is so true. As
a postpartum doula I've worked with so many families in which the grandma
confessed that she tried to nurse but "failed" and still feels that regret
some 30 years later, feeling she let her baby down. I have told some that
they didn't fail, society failed them, formula marketers and the docs who
were influenced by them sabotaged them. Some have more luck and some have
more knowledge. But no mother fails as every one of them wants the very best
for their babies, and many were in their 20's and already feeling the
effects of families splitting up and living far away.  With both of my
babies, after a few months, when my breasts shrunk to their pregnant size, I
thought my milk had dried up. My husband believed large breasts equaled more
milk and insisted on supplementing with formula. The early postpartum
hemorrhage and 3 days in hospital for transfusion, pumping with a pump that
looked like a bicycle horn and held a tablespoon didn't help my beginning.
To this day, 41 years later, it grates on me that I was so close to success,
and too ignorant to know LLLI could have helped. So I sympathize with those
grandma's who speak sadly about not being able to nurse. It's amazing to me
how this sticks with a woman. It has provided much of the passion I feel for
wanting to do everything possible to help new mothers breastfeed their
babes.

Vicky York, CPD, IBCLC
Postpartum Care Services
Portland, OR

www.vickyyorkpostpartumdoula.com
references:  www.ikarma.com/user/vmyork



>> Date:    Sun, 21 Dec 2008 18:58:29 -0500
> From:    Rachel Myr <[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: Winter thoughts
>
> As the year end draws nearer I find myself looking back and reminiscing o=
> ver
> the families I've worked with in 2008, especially the ones that really
> taught me something new.  The other day a familiar face from last winter
> appeared at my office door after my last appointment - a mother who began=
>
> exclusively breastfeeding at 10 weeks, after a long and tortuous path on
> which it was my good fortune to accompany her along the way.  The child i=
> s
> now a year old, and they are still very happily breastfeeding. I learned =
> a
> lot about relactation from this family, and it has stood me in good stead=
>
> when I met another family in the fall who really needed that
knowledge.=20=
> =20
>
> In both these cases, and indeed in many others, it was striking to see ho=
> w
> the mothers' behavior changed as breastfeeding took hold.  Both of these
> women articulated the change, and said that breastfeeding was a defining =
> act
> in seeing themselves as mothers.  For me the change in them was apparent =
> in
> the calm that only comes when a void has been filled.  Giving birth and
> wanting to breastfeed, and having it not work out, causes a void.  These
> families were very grateful that there was someone there who had the
> information they needed, and who understood why they needed it. The
> gratitude they express gives me strength to support other women.  I'm sti=
> ll
> waiting for a woman to say she wished she'd stopped sooner, that it was a=
>
> waste of time to try to solve all the problems that arose, even in the ca=
> ses
> where we never managed to solve them and the breastfeeding ended.=20=20
>
> The woman who came to drop off a greeting on the occasion of her child's
> birthday said 'It's been a year, and I have thought about you at least on=
> ce,
> usually oftener, every single day, as I savor what breastfeeding has been=
>
> for us.'   The same day I got a card from a mother whose experience was v=
> ery
> different, and who ended up weaning to formula, saying thanks for helping=
>
> her preserve her dignity at that time.  Every one of you on this list has=
>
> someone (probably more than one!) who thinks of you with gratitude, who
> includes you in the love they give their child, even if they don't always=
>
> drop by to tell you about it every six months or so.  How many people are=
>  so
> lucky?=20=20
>
> There are many people on this list who are in my thoughts often, as I hel=
> p a
> mother by using a technique or information I have acquired through Lactne=
> t.
> Some I've gotten to actually meet, others continue to be cherished e-mail=
>
> contacts, and some I'm looking forward to meeting in 2009. Thank you all =
> for
> being there, for each other, for us all, and for breastfeeding.  You are =
> all
> needed!
>
> Rachel Myr
> getting sappy in Kristiansand, Norway
>
>              ***********************************************
>

             ***********************************************

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