Laurie,
I understand your frustration better than I would like to!  It is a
real challenge to try to help someone that you know needs help but
they won't accept it.  First, we have to accept that we can't help
everyone.  If we have offered information and the person rejects it,
that's all we can do.  Of course, if it is a situation where we feel
the baby is at a real risk, we do have an obligation to inform the
baby's doctor (or in the case of suspected abuse, the proper
authorities).

I have found that some will at lest let me talk a little if I put
the information in terms like, "What you're doing seems to be
working for you.  (Or, you seem satisfied with how you're doing
it.)  I would like to offer some suggestions in case you find that
isn't working.  Many moms find that baby gets more milk and the mom
is more comfortable if she does........  If you find that you are
having any problem I would be glad to show you more about it."

This way you have kept the door open a little.  Mom may be more
likely to seek help than if she perceives the LC as telling her she
is "wrong" which may make it even more difficult to seek help.
After all, many people are reluctant to admit when they've been
wrong.  By saying that there are other approaches that moms have
found works better for them, she just might be more open to seeking
help when she reaches her limit.  Of course many will still
stubbornly do it their way and frequently wind up quitting.  Another
favorite "line" I use is, "Breastfeeding doesn't change, but our
understanding of how it works and how to help it work better does
change over the years."  I find this helpful not just with moms but
with the professional who says "but we've always done ...." or "but
last year you told us....."

Winnie

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