Karleen said, and I agree:
"I honestly think that we should be very careful with how we present the
idea
of milk production expectations to women. I certainly don't think it is
helpful to say "you won't have a problem making a lot of milk" but equally
"you won't be able to make much milk" is just as bad and then there are
those who say "if you do relactation/induced lactation in this way you will
get this much milk and if you do it that way you will likely get that much
milk- I do think
that what is currently the norm as far as written materials is unnecessarily
pessimistic and has a very negative impact on women wishing to breastfeed
their adopted child. "
I know that some people feel like telling moms not to expect much milk is
the best way of helping them appreciate the relationship, and also any milk
that they do produce. I understand this, and think it probably doesn't hurt
those who are really set on nursing, beforehand. Such moms will go ahead
and establish the relationship, which will then produce milk in 99% of
cases, even if they aren't expecting it. One of the things that concerns me
the most about this approach is that there will be many moms who will decide
not to even try nursing, if they don't think they will produce milk, or not
produce enough to make a difference. Those who have never nursed a baby
before can especially have a hard time understanding how nursing without
milk could really be more beneficial than attentive bottlefeeding. In my
case, I understood that there was something special about the act of
nursing, but did not understand HOW beneficial it was, or the fact that the
benefits could continue for years, until I finally succeeded in establishing
a long-term relationship, with baby-led weaning, with my third.
Karleen and I have respectfully disagreed on the definition of full milk
supply, but the more we talk about it, the closer I think we actually are on
even that. I feel that, when most people hear "full milk supply", they
envision enough to keep a baby well-fed and growing normally, on nothing but
milk right from the breast. However, I do agree with the idea that, if they
nurse long enough, milk supply will often become enough to meet the child's
needs for milk at the breast, although in many, that will be some time after
the child starts taking other foods. I mainly think it is important to
specify what definition of "full supply" someone is basing their statement
on. Women, especially those who have never been able to give birth to even
one baby, really like the thought of producing a huge milk supply for a new
baby, like a mother who had given birth to her baby, and many will jump on
anything they think promises them the chance to thumb their nose at Mother
Nature. They need encouragement to see that nurturing at the breast, as
well as producing a significant, if not abundant, supply of breast milk,
still offers the opportunity to put one over on good old Mother Nature!
Incidentally, this reminds me of a concern I have about one of the articles
I wrote for New Beginnings, about nursing Julia, that is reprinted on the
internet. In referring to my first three boys I had said, "They had not ALL
gotten much milk, but had recieved some of the benefits breastfeeding
provides." What I was referring to was that my first two sons, with whom I
had very little information or support, had only nursed part time for a few
months, and certainly did not get more than a very small amount. My third
son, Thomas, whom I was still nursing, at age two and a half, when I wrote
the article, HAD gotten a significant amount of breast milk from me (not a
ton, but approximately 12 ounces a day, with just the suckling to stimulate
it). The editor of New Beginnings dropped the "all" from the sentence, so
it just said "They had not gotten much milk.". I feel that dropping that
one word significantly changed the message of the article, and took away
part of its potential for encouraging adoptive moms. I have requested that
the word be put back into the internet version but have been told that the
articles have to be word for word, as they were published.
More later!
Darillyn
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