Libby,

This mother's having stayed over to talk to you sounds like a plea for
help in coping with her fear. Perhaps wording like this might help:

"There are reports in the literature that women exposed to fondling or
other abuse, or even just strong negative attitudes during girlhood may
develop negative feelings about the breasts and might benefit from
exploring this with a counselor who specializes in such issues."

How does she handle the issues of bathing, and dressing, even though they
might constitute a minimum of touching? Monthly self breast exams?
Probably just doesn't.

While it would be up to her whether to seek a therapist, as an LC, could
you suggest that during her shower, when the water is giving it's own
all-over sensory stimulation to the breast, an occasional moment of
gentle massage might be a less stressful way to help her begin to
overcome her fear?

How about letting her see the self attachment video, to open her mind to
the idea that initial breastfeeding need not necessarily involve much
handling of the breast at all, and that it is not something mothers "do
to" their babies, but more something mothers let their babies learn to
"do with" mother.

A carefully chosen support group (i.e. one in which a leader has been
forwarned to insert a general statement, early in the meeting, about this
kind of issue) might be helpful in encouraging exploration of feelings
among mothers present.

Just some thoughts triggered by your post.

Jean
************
K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC
Dayton, Ohio USA

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