One thing this case makes me think of is the fact that many people who work
with babies just assume that the mother wants the baby to be
self-sufficient. That assumption can be so ingrained as to even cause some
people to ignore feedback from mothers that indicates otherwise.

When my Julia was placed with me (full-term baby, CDH, six MO, 9 pounds,
antisocial, developmentally testing at 2 months old) I was ordered to take
her for weekly sessions with an expert in child development, by the social
workers.  One of the things the counselor asked me about, each time, was
whether Julia was holding her own bottle yet.  I couldn't say "Why the heck
would I want her to do that, when we are trying to deal with attachment
disorder?", so I would just say "no".  Each time, she would say, "Well,
don't worry.  She'll get there!".

Actually, getting Julia, who'd had a gastrostomy, bottlefeeding well, always
fed by me, with as many aspects of breastfeeding as possible, was a
tremendous accomplishment!  (I eventually got her to the breast, but that
was a few months later).  That, and the time she spent in a sling or front
pack, were the two main things that I felt accounted for the fact that she
caught up on her development so quickly.  Maybe I should have told the
counselor more about what I was actually doing, but I felt that, if she told
the social workers that I wasn't doing just what I was told, it could
jeopardize Julia's placement with me.

I wouldn't be surprized if there are many moms who are told to wean, or
otherwise do things that push their babies away from them, by "experts" who
don't really understand what the mother is saying, or what she and her baby
really need.  I guess, in a case where a mother is told to ubruptly wean,
that is pretty certain!

Darillyn

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