Leslie: We urge our students to remove two words from their vocabulary when
working with moms. One is "but". Example:"You're holding your baby close
enough, BUT you need to turn his body toward you." By using the word "but"
you negate the first half of the message which was intended to validate that
the mother was doing something right (though "right" is another word that can
imply judgment). You can get the same point across by saying ,"You're holding
your baby nice and close. If you turn him more toward you, he will be able to
get a better latch..." Or you could simply replace the word "but" with the
word "and".

The other word to avoid is "should". This implies judgment and focuses on
YOUR expectations. You can say, rather, "It is important that your baby ...
You will want to ..." Other words to avoid: correct, incorrect, adequate,
inadequate ... anything that implies the possibility of failure.

Hope this helps