Hi Everyone,
I have recently met several women who failed to breastfeed and are very
distressed about that fact. Most of them assumed they would breastfeed while
pregnant but often due to inadequate help and support in the early days, they
have "made the decision" to bottlefeed. From talking to them, I have concluded
that it wasn't really a true "decision" at all, but done out of desperation and
fear that their babies would not survive on their milk. In the last week, I have
had two mothers burst into tears at the sight of my breastfeeding my new baby,
and seem desperate to justify themselves to me (even though that had not met me
before at that point, and didn't know about my interest in breastfeeding
matters). I have vaguely mentioned relactation, but I don't like to push it and
make them feel worse, and to date, no woman has ever shown an interest in trying
it. I suppose they see that they have failed once and don't want to fail again.
I am very concerned about these women. I feel that, as well as supporting
mothers who *are* breastfeeding, it is also important to help those who have
failed, to come to terms with that fact. Not least, because most of these
mothers will go on to have further children. I believe that many women
experience tremendous grief and loss and being unable to breastfeed - my mother
still regrets it, 30 years on, and a LLL leader friend has reported meeting
elderly women who still feel distraught at having not breastfed.

I was wondering if people have any thoughts on this, and more particularly, if
you would know a good book that might cover this? I am sure everyone has heard
of "Bottlefeeding without Guilt" (resulting in many a flame-war on the
newsgroups) but I would hesitate to recommend it to such women as I feel it is
very anti-breastfeeding. What I am really looking for is something by someone
who is definitely *pro* breastfeeding, but which talks about coming to terms
with bottlefeeding in a sympathetic way. Any ideas?
--
Anna (mummy to Emma, born 17th Jan 1995 and Alice, born 11th Sept 1996)
Web Page: http://www.ratbag.demon.co.uk/anna