>Instead of the subject title as mom who failed, maybe we could call them
>moms who tried and were unable to breastfeed. The failure may not be the
>mother's but rather the health care community who was unable to help correct
>whatever problems she had. We don't say that a patient has failed when her
>panacreas does not make enough insulin...

Ooh, could we talk about this?  I've always wondered whether the word
"failed" is appropriate or inappropriate.

Many of these women *are* heroes, in the same way that a soldier who
struggles unsuccessfully to take a hilltop stronghold is a hero.  We would
say that the soldier tried and failed, and wouldn't think any the less of
him.  Is it wrong to say the same of the mother?  Might we talk about a
failed pancreas or liver, or a failed transplant?

I honestly don't know what to think, not having "failed" myself.  But I want
to get it right, and at the same time I don't want to get in an unnecessary
obfuscation.  These are women who tried and... weren't successful.  Are
"unsuccessful" and "failed" synonyms or are there subtle differences that we
need to be alert to?  Does avoiding the word increase or decrease the
presumed stigma?  Do we *need* the term "failed" so that the healthcare
system can be really clear about what happened?  (They didn't choose
formula-feeding, they were forced into it.)  Or do we *need* to avoid it?

Are there those among us who've been on both sides of the fence?  What
term(s) are you comfortable with and why?
--
Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC  Ithaca, NY
www.wiessinger.baka.com

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