I find that very often parents with high-need babies think (or perhaps just
hope!) that the behaviours they are struggling with are related to
breastfeeding and that weaning will make them go away. I imagine this mother
believes that weaning at night will magically make the baby less needy and
less wakeful at night, but that may not be the result at all.

I sometimes talk with parents in this situation about the needs of the baby
that are currently being met by breastfeeding, and how those needs will
remain after weaning and need to be met some other way. So the baby will
still have a strong need to suck, a strong need for skin contact, a need for
holding, cuddling and comforting, a need for milk, etc. If the baby has
digestive problems, as you describe, those may worsen without the components
in breastmilk that help digestion. I encourage parents to think about those
needs and to make a concrete plan about how they will meet them without
breastfeeding.

Does this mother feel she needs to wean completely, or would she be happy if
she returned to day-time nursing and cut out the night nursing? Could she
cope with daytime nursing if she wasn't nursing at night, or if she was
nursing less often at night? That is another option you might offer.

I think it is important to find out from the mother what she hopes weaning
will achieve for her and her baby. If she hopes it will mean the end of
night-waking, she needs to understand that many bottlefed babies also wake
at night, some quite frequently.

Teresa Pitman
Guelph, Ontario

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