----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Anne Grider" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 19, 2007 5:26 PM
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] Standard complaint form?

**Hello Anne,

> As wonderful as it might be to have all this detailed information, my
> suspicion is that it's simply not going to happen. Six choices for every
> question is simply too much work, in my opinion.

**And what about four options...? ;-) May indeed look friendlier and less 
work than six. The main thing is you want people to take a stand, instead 
taking a neutral position. I know the feeling... I would often tick the 
middle box myself! hahaha (Just too lazy to give it a good thought with some 
things...)

Moms don't feel they have
> that much time. I think the paper survey will end up in the trash can. In
> person or over the phone, however, we have the opportunity to coax and
> stroke the mom- I don't mean influence - just encourage her to give a few
> more minutes thought to what her experience was.

**I know what you mean, and yet I think asking feedback over the phone might 
make the interviewer end up with socially desirable answers. So when the 
hospital would ask, the answers might be more positive. When the lc asks... 
I don't know. The rapport, the connection of trust you create with a client, 
makes them open up and show their feelings, especially if you have been able 
to create a feeling of being on an equal level. I think when a mom has not 
too much knowledge, but knows from her gut feeling that things went 
suboptimally, it is hard for them to approach a defensive HCP.
And then again... I'm often very surprised about how mothers say they got 
good support at first and then, after talking a while and hearing things 
like "my nipples are sore, but it's not because of the latch, 'cause that is 
okay", they find out by my information that many things were not so well 
supported at all! It is, to a great extent, a lack of knowledge that makes 
them say everything went fine and they simply had bad luck. This is what 
really concerns me: if you bring your car to the garage for a repair and it 
still doesn't go after you paid the bill, you would go back or at least 
would blame it on the mechanic, not on the car! Mothers often do, though! 
"My HCP was very friendly, gave her best and was very motivated, it's just 
me/my baby/the circumstances." Well, you can easily leave me with my broken 
car for a whole day and I could be friendly and give my best and be very 
motivated, but it still wouldn't go, as I miss the knowledge I need to get 
it going. That, unfortunately, is how it still is in many situations: the 
HCP is willing, but not competent enough to solve the problem we as lc's are 
extensively trained for. Our knowledge is what can help a mom to really find 
out what caused the thing she wants to complain about.

Mothers often complain to
> me - as a LLLLeader on the phone or as a private practice LC.  Whenever I
> ask why they haven't written to the hospital, or wherever, it's always
> something they feel no one would heed and moms don't have time for.

**I think it is not only a matter of time. I think many people don't feel 
able to put in words what they have felt. Many find it hard to get their 
feelings on paper, because they cannot write so well or because they get 
emotionally overwhelmed. I have a mother in my group (who is now a volunteer 
in training! ;-)) who recently asked me to help her with writing down her 
story, because she really wants to give the feedback, in order to make a 
contribution to improving hospital policies, but as soon as she starts, she 
gets so sad again... :-( There are so many emotions new moms have to deal 
with, so if they had a bad experience, that will probably have drained them 
of a lot of energy, of which they already have little to spare. 'Forgetting' 
about it (giving feedback makes memories come back, if you want to do it 
properly) may seem the easier way out, even if it often means suppression 
and denial of the sadness and disappointment. I fully agree that the stories 
you hear as a volunteer or an lc are much closer to reality and very 
authentic and you would want parents to give that specific form of their 
story as feedback, but as soon as you have been an empathetic listener, the 
top of the emotion is gone (which is a good thing in itself) and the need to 
tell the story to the HCP lessens. Therefore I think we could explain to 
mothers that their story can help other mothers in the future: good feedback 
gives opportunities to make improvements.
I even asked the hospital staff for their evaluation forms, to take them 
with me and hand them out, as they said they are hoping for more feedback. 
They refused, though... I think they are afraid I might influence the mother 
at their cost! hahaha
I hope to draw up a good feedback form one day, as I really want to 
encourage mothers to tell their story, as the story coming from the mom, has 
much more power than the same story coming from me.
I think our knowledge, combined with a warm attitude towards moms, can help 
build their strength and selfconfidence and can make them see the importance 
of their voice.

Warmly,

Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands

             ***********************************************

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