Hi all,
   My approach is to praise the dad for wanting to be so involved and then to
ask him what he thinks makes the bottle such a bonding experience compared
with nursing?  He usually equates the nursing with only feeding, not
realizing that much more is involved than strictly "feeding" the baby.  I
like to explain that while he may "enjoy" the bottle, the baby would prefer
the breast and of course he wants the baby to be happy.  I explain how skin
and touch is how a baby bonds also and that one the wonderful aspects of
breastfeeding is the skin contact.  I tell him that usually when he comes
home from work mom is beat and could use  a long bath, shower, walk whatever,
and this time could belong to him.  Then I explain how daddy's have the best
loud heartbeat and that babies just love to be naked (laughing about keeping
on the diaper) on their daddy's chest when they have a full tummy from mommy
and need some special daddy time.  Making a big deal about how daddy is
special and does not need to be like mommy to bond makes them feel less
competitive about who gets to feed the baby.  I like to remind them that
protecting the breastfeeding pair is their most important job and give tips
about how to do that.  Yes, sometimes mom wants dad to give the bottle, and
that is a whole different story, but many times it is about dad feeling left
out now that we have made such a big deal about breastfeeding encouraging a
"better bond".  Poor dads, must seem like while we are encouraging them to
get involved, we are finding ways to shut them out.  HaHa. Since I place a
very high value on fatherhood, but I want to preserve breastfeeding,  I want
to find a balance that preserves both--his bond and the breastfeeding.  I
think this usually works.

Feeling ready to pop with 31 days and counting to baby #6.
Pam MazzellaDiBosco,  IBCLC        Florida, USA

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