Hi Betsy and all
Now, I come from a land down under and things may be different here, but
when I seek medical assistance I do not turn my child over to the medical
establishment and I do not check my brain at the door.  I insist on being
treated as an equal partner in the decision-making/treatment process and I
expect my knowledge about my child to be afforded the same respect that I
offer the medical knowledge of the professional I consult.  (Doctors don't
always like that and on more than one occasion I have taken my concerns (and
my money) elsewhere.)   I am not particularly familiar with this case but I
do think it is important to look at what we know from a human perspective,
remembering how much power doctors and nurses have over patients and how
powerless patients, and their parents, can be in a medical setting.  
I think that the problem here very complex but probably less to do with the
mother's actions and more to do with the medical establishment's failures.
It has failed to hear the mother's concerns and to support her as she
explores every available avenue before subjecting her child to invasive
procedures.  It fails to recognise the importance of breastfeeding to the
child's health and relationship with his mother.  It fails to validate her
concerns.  It fails to hear and respect her knowledge.  It robs her of her
power and fails to communcate clearly the need for the treatment that is
recommended.
There is a complex set of power relationships and negotiations going on in a
hospital setting.  This mother acted in a desperate way thay suggests that
she felt completely powerless.  The medical establishment must take some
responsibility for precipitating her action.  Did anyone take the time to
listen?  Did anyone offer any alternatives to her that didn't involve
manipulation and emotional blackmail (your baby sill die unless ...).  Did
anyone validate her concerns? congratulate her for caring for her baby so
well? Offer to moniter the child's progress while she explored other options
(that were unlikely to be harmful in themselves) and involve the mother in
that monitoring?  Did anyone offer to help her learn to use medline or
embase? to read and understand the literature around her child's condition?
To speak with the alternative therapists in a respectful way about their
insights?
No mother wants to bring harm to her child. (This one knows the child needs
medical attention otherwise she would not have sought it.)  If the child
truly needs the recommended surgery, the mother will see that - if she feels
like a respected, equal partner in the decision-making process. 
Let's be very careful about blaming mothers.  
Now I think I may be off-topic.  I am sure that my friendly neighbourhood
list-moter will let me know!
Cheers
Nina Berry BA/Bed(Hons) Dip Arts(Phil)
Breastfeeding Counsellor
PhD Candidate - "Ethical Issues in the marketing of 'Toddler Milks'"

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