>I have a private theory that "sparklers" - those babies who both give
>off and require huge amounts of energy - end up smart, precisely
>because of their problems.
At our "high-powered" high school, the Advanced Math teacher said that he
keeps a running record, and 93% of his top students were colicky babies.
They are still enthusiastic about everything--math, nature, music,
drama...--and eager to learn whatever is before them.
I, too, tell mothers of these babies who are "UP" most of the time, that
their rewards are coming--and soon, rather than later. These little ones
are learning about their world every minute they are alive. They are
treasured little people and the parents are lucky that they selected
*them.* They bring new aliveness to their families.
I think that it is important to assure parents that these "sparklers" are a
gift, and not flawed. The child's self concept will be shaped by how they
are seen. I've often thought that prisons are full of "sparklers" who were
not seen as the treasures that they are.
We are in a good position to point the way for parents of these babies. It
*is* a challenging job at first. But as such, it calls the parents to
their best--they become new learners too.
I had a client whose 6th baby had serious feeding problems and I sensed
strongly that this baby was not wanted. I was worried for her. She was one
of those who "looked" at you with knowing eyes, and who carried an energy
of "more." I spent a lot of time with the mom and I told her about my
observations and complimented her family for being chosen to bring up this
child. I assured the mom that, as time went on, she would be able to see
the gift that this child is. [I wasn't just making this up either.]
A couple of years later I ran into the mom and she told me how blessed the
family had been by this little girl's presence. She said that all of the
children were happier and more eager to learn and do their chores and
consider each other. She breastfed her for 1 1/2 years (much longer that
she had fed the others) and she was so glad that she stuck with it in the
beginning.
So, each child has her gifts to offer her family--and world. We can help
realize those gifts if we truly "see" who each one is. And if we don't try
to make them all fit into a common mold.
Pat Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
mailto:[log in to unmask]
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