Hello all! Just wanted to comment on two recent threads: Easy one first:
Nursing through pregnancy isn't typically a problem. I nursed my oldest
child through my second child's entire pregnancy and then tandem nursed for
6 months. My midwife advised that I keep an eye out for cramping early on
and contractions later, but I never had a problem and have known many moms
who have successfully nursed through part or all of a pregnancy.
My second child recently weaned, and I'm expecting again, which brings me to
the child-led weaning topic. He was 20 months old last month when he
stopped nursing. I definitely encouraged it because I was having incredible
nipple soreness and have other family considerations this time around. He
was only nursing a couple times a day and often preferred a cup of water to
nursing, when given the option. Though I encouraged his weaning, I would
still consider his weaning primarily child-led, because he adjusted so
quickly and with so little difficulty. I was purposely looking for signs
from him that things were moving too fast, (clingy, always asking to nurse,
that kind of stuff) but he was fine.
My point is this: I am a big supporter of child-led weaning and would
definitely wonder about a child "spontaneously" weaning before a year (I'd
think of that as a strike or something else going on), but I do consider
nursing to be a relationship, especially for the extended nursing couple,
and I think it's entirely reasonable to expect that the relationship will
grow and change over time, like any relationship does. As the child gets
older, (by that I mean 2, 3, 4 years old or more), I don't think there's
anything wrong with both parties having their needs met. And that may
include some limits. Granted, if the child reacts strongly to nursing
limits, then I do think it's up to mom to reconsider. She is more mature (I
hope!) and can balance her needs against the child's greater need. But on
the whole, I've known people who haven't felt comfortable nursing a
2-year-old in public or who have told a 4-year-old to eat their supper
before nursing, and the kids are fine with it. I even think that it helps
the child learn that they aren't the only person in the universe and that
being part of a family means allowing for some give and take. It may not
make a study of child-led weaning any easier, but I do think it's part of
the process of a child's gradual growth toward independence.
Just my thoughts on it. (Also not meant judgmentally at all as I, too, have
been badly flamed in the past...)
Karen Urbec
LLL Leader
North Carolina, Southeastern USA
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