I don't know if I am veering off topic, or this has been discussed before,
but I have had a few instances where breastfeeding is all important to the
father, and the mother definitely does not want to breastfeed.  I have
learned that it is VERY important to speak to the mother before doing a
consult.  Often situations like these are initiated by the father, and it is
good to hear the mother's voice on the phone--just to make sure that she
WANTS the help.  Even if she is sitting in the room with him, you can ask
"pointed questions" where all you expect to hear from her is "YES" or "NO".
The husband will typically think that these are breastfeeding questions, and
not think anything of it, but in actuality I ask, "Did you want to breastfeed
before the baby was born?"  If you know things could go well if I came to
visit, would you want me to come?" and "Do you really want to do this?"  Is
this something that your husband wants, but you have no desire to do?"
     In one particular case, I worked with the mother on two separate
occasions before she "broke down" and told me that she NEVER, EVER wanted to
do this.  Her husband appeared to be involved in some sort of relgious cult
that condoned serious male domination.  She was sabbotaging by supplementing
during day hours while he was at work, and then nursing when he was home.
When I began dealing with her emotionally, she was better able to cope with
her circumstances.  The free formula she received during her prenatal period
and at the hospital were going to run out, and he controlled all the money.
She needed to either deal with him or leave him.  I usually hope that parents
stay together.  In this particular case, I feared for her and her baby.  I
theorized that she probably would have wanted to breastfeed if he hadn't been
so domineering about her doing it.  It was her way to gain some sense of
freedom.

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