Catherine writes:
>This reframes the situation from one of failure to one of running out of
resources in
>the face of a difficult obstacle.  3 months can be an eternity if every
>feeding is a struggle.  If we are compassionate and praise the mom's
>very real efforts, she can feel like a success even when she weans
>before she had intended.  This 'reframing' is a cognitive therapy
>technique.  How a mom feels about her attempt to breastfeed this baby is
>important not only for her self-esteem, but for her ability to attempt
>breastfeeding with her next baby, and her ability to support others who
>are breastfeeding.  Feelings of failure are so unpleasant that some
>people will not only never bf again, but will work hard at dissuading
>all their loved ones from bfing.

What an important reminder.  I am going to print this out and read it every
day.

I think that the last sentence reflects the reason some women write
articles for magazines to dissuade others from breastfeeding. Living with
an on-going sense of failure sullies all of our life experiences and robs
us of joy. Then we can, perhaps unconsciously, resent the joy of others. No
one benefits from an unresolved sense of failure.

>This reframes the situation from one of failure to one of running out of
resources in
>the face of a difficult obstacle.

I have experienced some major failures in my life, and reading Catherine's
words today reminds me that mothers whom I work with need the same
assurances that I have received- that we can run out of resources in the
face of difficult obstacles.

Thank you, Catherine.

Patricia Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee


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