Jo-Anne asked about self-weaning vs natural weaning -- are the same, and
whether or not they are, which is better to use in a handout about this kind
of weaning vs nursing strikes.

Jo-Anne, I have not seen any evidence that persuades me that there is any
weaning of human beings that is not permeated by culture.   Some styles of
nursing and or weaning may be more similar to that of our more ancient
cousins and of other primates, but even those of us who practice those styles
do so in ways that are -- I think -- profoundly suffused with our cultures.
So I am, as a parent, immediately suspicious of anybody who tells me that her
preferred style of any parenting act is the "natural" way to do it.   It just
pushes my buttons; but I don't think I'm alone in this.

This is the mirror of why I *do* refer to formula=feeding as "artificial
feeding" -- because it really is clear that breastfeeding is more natural
than enfamil feeding.   Even this bugs many clueless new parents, but
explaining to them why I do it usually is a good consciousness raiser for
them, precisely because it is, indeed, clear that one particular style is
natural and the other is artificial.

But I don't think it's so clear that one pace of weaning, or who initiates
it, is more natural than another in anything like the way that bf is more
natural than formula is.   Given the reality that once a child can understand
and make herself understood, all nursing is at some level negotiated (thank
you Diane W. for this insight, which I have remembered lately as my 1 year
old suddenly reaches the age of speech), it's tough to say, "This dyad weaned
naturally, this one didn't."    And indeed, the cultures we look at to help
think about what constitutes "ecological bf" (also not my prefered term, but
that's a different post) do not in particular tend to practice child-led
weaning.

So I vote against "natural weaning" to mean, letting the little guy give it
up whenever he's good and ready.

But self-weaning is clear -- the kid is running the show, and the mom is
following.    That we can all understand.

I like "child-led weaning," too, in some moods.   Was there a reason that
that phrase hadn't apparently made it into your top two?

Elisheva Urbas, NYC

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