Eileen Ahearn-Shea <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> I have permission to post.   I just saw a woman prenatally whose partner
> is not supportive of breastfeeding because he fears the loss of breast
> play during the breastfeeding period.   Does anyone have any suggestions
> for reading material that might be useful?  The internet would probably
> not be a good idea unless I knew specific sites.

Is he also wringing his hands about birth meaning that he probably won't
have PIV sex for a few weeks? I'm tempted to suggest a very basic
twentieth-century-level introduction to feminism, you know, principles
like "you don't own a woman's body" and "yes means yes, no means no".
Backlash by Susan Faludi, or Feminism is for Everybody by bell hooks,
perhaps. Or the book "Yes Means Yes", which is less basic but very
thought-provoking. Or maybe marriage counselling involving actually
speaking with your partner about these concerns, and listening to her
thoughts, feelings and ideas. But I'm guessing that any man whose
primary concern about breastfeeding is his own sexual demands is not
likely to be open to any of these ideas. However, supporting his partner
to resist this selfish, unreasonable pressure and, very importantly,
access breastfeeding support from other sources in advance might be
useful.

How far we haven't come. Sigh.

Lara Hopkins 

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