In einer eMail vom 11-8-01 6:24:55 West-Europa (zomertijd) schreibt
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> Has anyone ever looked at who is the instigator in *dad can bond* by bottle
> feeding? Or rather the baby won't bond to dad if dad doesn't give bottles?
> Is
> it society? Is it mom? Or is it dad?  My husband hated bottle feeding our
> kids. He'd rather snuggle down with them in a chair or in bed or in a bath
> tub. Maybe he is the odd man out or something. He never felt bonding
> deprived
> or cheated by my breastfeeding.

My dh cuddled and slept with the children, was my safetynet at 5 in the
afternoon when he got home and I was at the point to put the baby behind the
wallpaper, but he never ever even mentioned or thought about wanting to give
a bottle. In the contrary, he went very angry when people suggested he might
want to feed the baby.


> Is it really that important to daddy to bottle feed the baby? Do men have
> bonding issues? And why do the other kids need to get involved? I don't know
> if I could trust a 2 year old to bottle feed my baby. Nor do I know if the 2
> year old even gets it? Is it propaganda of some kind? Does mom need a break
> from feeding. I don't see how it could be a break because she has to pump
> anyway.
>
Toddlers do not want to feed the baby, they want to breastfeed the dolls and
bears, nest to mommy on the coach. Baby is mommy's doll, they have their own
child to feed.
I think that this father needs to bond by feedig the baby can have two
causes. One is that it is a very subtle input from the AIM industry (or am I
a bit paranoia here?)  The other might be a misinterpretation of
psychological theories where bonding to the mother is seen as one of the
advantages of breastfeeding, thus leaving fathers with the false idea that
feeding must be the key to bonding or attachment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gonneke van Veldhuizen, IBCLC
MOM, LLLL, primary schoolteacher
Hiilensberg, Germany

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