I'm so sorry that this topic has hit some really painful ‘hot spots’...  It is not just the mom who "fails" but often the IBCLC who also feels she has failed as well.



When facing a real challenge, many feel they have one of two options:

 

- if we think there MUST be an answer, we go into our "problem solving" mode:

                - doing research, call others, reach out on Lactnet...

 

- if we feel there is no answer we start what is called "Emotional Regulation"

                - She didn't really want it

                - her family wasn't supportive

                - It wasn't important to her

                

Emotional Regulation is the recourse people take when they don’t see any other way.  As Dr. Jane Heinig described it – it’s as if you tell everyone to “walk through this wall”.  People know they can’t…. until you show them a door!  

                

People who are in Emotional Regulation need Support, Acceptance and Help.

 

Our job is very frustrating at times, and I hope that we can be kind to each other as we work our way out of Emotional Regulation and back to Problem Solving…  Surely we have all felt, at one time or another that “what I’m doing is making no difference”…

 

One thing I recommend is having a “thank you” folder and scan those thanks to read when you’re feeling this way.  

 

In fact, you DO make a difference to many moms, and you never know what will have “stuck” with a mom that will be part of her own life changes later on (a mom who later decides to relactate) …or with another baby (a mom comes to tell me that THIS time she’s off drugs and wants to breastfeed) … or a newly delivered moms who calls for help EARLY this time and can get the help she needs…

 

Hopefully we can help each other move from “Emotional Regulation” to “Problem Solving” to help improve our quality of care for moms…and improve our outcomes as we help moms move from THEIR own “emotional regulation” to “problem solving.”  And improve our own emotional health.  

 

I was going to describe the difference in me as an IBCLC of today and one from 1985...or the Leader I was in 1975, but that is not the point of this note!  Thank Heavens for the wonderful La Leche League Leaders who realized how much we needed this profession – and those who started our supportive organizations so we can communicate – from the Journal of Human Lactation (yes, I still have the first copies) to Lactnet.  

 

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC

Vacaville, CA

 

 

 


             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome