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From:
Kevin and Anne Clark <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 9 Oct 1996 22:21:02 -0500
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        I thought you all might be interested in breastfeeding and
attachment parenting from the child's perspective.  I have chosen a few
excerpts from a "book" my 14 year old daughter is writing:  The title is:
"My Parent's Bed.  A child's feelings about it, and the world".  By Meaghan
Clark.  The subtitle is:  "A somewhat helpful reference for parents to use
about  breastfeeding, sleeping arrangements, and various controversial
topics."
        "My name is Meaghan Clark.  I was breastfed for a long time, as
were my siblings, and we sleep in a family bed.
        Just recently, I was reading The Family Bed  and realized that this
is what my family has been sharing for years. I was very surprised that
this is not common.  I have wonderful memories of times spent together, in
our family bed. I am fourteen and sleep in my own bed, now, but when I am
scared of a bad dream, feel lonely and need someone there, or just need to
spend time together and show we care about each other, I climb into the bed
of my parents.
        When my sister Madeline was born she slept in a crib but as soon as
she began to cry she was scooped up and cuddled in the family bed.  At that
time I was 2 1/2 years old and I was unsure about having a new baby in my
life.  I was afraid that the baby was going to take my place, so I went to
my parents, and their bed, for comfort.  I think it was important that I
had support when I wasn't stable and needed nurturing.  They were there
when I needed them and I will always have that security knowing they were
there.  When I woke up some nights with a bad dream I would cry out and
Momma was already there.
        Claire was born when I was seven.  She came home from the hospital
when she was barely a day old.  She was lucky, she never even had a crib.
        Dougie was born when I was ten.  He was even more lucky.  He was
never ever separated from my mother.  He was born in my parent's bed!   I
was there for the birth and even caught him!.
        I think when you sleep with the people in your family you know them
better.  I certainly feel this way.
        Just recently, I felt so sorry for my friend at school, the day
after there had been at terrible thunderstorm at night (it was horrible,the
booms were so loud), because when she went into her parent's bedroom they
told her to go back and put a pillow over her head!   I also went into my
parent's bedroom and was welcomed into a warm and very safe bed.(even
though it was very, very crowded)!
        I feel wonderfully happy and joyful in my parent's bed.  It is my
home. This is where my parents supported and comforted me.  They did it not
by talking to me there, although that was a part of it, but by loving me.
        One night, when Daddy was gone TDY (temporary duty),  Claire's
friend, Katie spent the night.  When Claire, who was six, got in the bed so
did Katie, who was five..  The order of people, from left to right, was
Momma, Madeline, Claire, Dougie, me, and Katie.  Katie was against the
wall, the coldest part of the bed, and I felt obligated to help to keep her
warm so I cuddled close to her and pulled the comforter over her.  At that
moment it felt a little funny, but I knew it was the right thing, so I did
it.  She wasn't family, but she needed love and warmth so I gave it to her.
I never liked Katie very much but since that night I haven't felt so
indifferent to her.
        You know that your child is crying is the next room, but think that
he will quiet down in half an hour, and you are probably right.  But if you
let him cry you have lost some of your child's respect.  Respect is the
action of thinking of other people and their worries and treating them as
you treat yourself.
        Many parents are afraid the baby will learn to rely on them too
much if they nurse the baby every time it cries.or take the baby to bed
with them  Can you spoil a baby with too much love?  NO WAY!
        And what is love?  Love is breastfeeding your child and feeling
responsible for her.  If your baby needs love, breastfeed her, don't give
her a bottle, blanket, or pacifier to substitute for your love!
        Parenting is hard.  Remember when you held your child for the first
time?  It was glorious.  I haven't had that experience, yet, but I hope
when I do, I feel the love and respect in me for a new complete being.  And
I know that I will continue to feel that love, and respect for the rest of
a lifetime."
        Just one child's opinion.  What if every child felt this way?
Boggles the mind what peace in the world we would experience.  We simply
cannot underestimate the bonding power of breastfeeding and attachment
parenting.  A new slogan: World Peace Through Breastfeeding

Anne M. Clark  RN, IBCLC
Bloomington, In
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