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Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 24 Jan 2001 14:46:13 EST
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Barbara wrote:
<< I think we need to be careful that we present ourselves as a profession
that
 is honest enough to speak straightforwardly to mothers about changing their
 behavior rather than sneaking up on them and clobbering them with judgements
 and condemnations. Feeding choice honestly may never have been closely
 examined before, and there may be hidden issues influencing their choices
 that we cannot know. >>
I think there are ALWAYS hidden issues, some may not have much of an impact
on choices and some will have major impact. A friend and colleague of mine
who does holistic birth counseling said something many years ago that I
always keep in mind - we must truly believe that each mother makes the best
choices she can with the information she has. She has her baby's best
interest at heart. For women who will buy those bottle-propping items, they
buy them because they truly believe that using them causes no harm. There is
nothing to be gained by putting a mother down, or her choices. We are charged
with a nearly impossible task, to give mothers information about behaviors
and patterns they rarely or never hear discussed as normal, which sometimes
goes against every parenting model they have ever had, including their own
parents and most of society, and which may even feel right to them, but they
will be challenged by both their friends and their physicians. We  to do this
day in day out, swimming upstream in a river clogged with formula and its
paraphernalia with only each other for support. I think most of us are
exceedingly gentle with the moms we work with, meeting each one where they
are even as we help the guide them somewhere they say they  wish to go, and
even though they sometimes find the journey is for whatever reason, too much
for them. Lactnet is, yes a place where we can express our frustrations both
with limiting terms and the world where we have to use them. By feeling free
to work through things here, we are unburdened of their heavy weight when we
go out to help the vulnerable new families who need us. It is a great gift to
be able to come unshoulder ourselves in this manner. Lactnet is like an
electronic form of both challenging and refreshing meditation, and I thank
all of you who help make it what it is. It is somehow easier to deal with all
the issues, both overt and hidden, when we have a place to come where we do
not have to hide anything ourselves.
Judy LeVan Fram, Brooklyn, NY

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