Dear Karleen:

Support for neonatal loss is very much on-topic, as a mother's breasts
produce milk even when she has no baby in her arms to nurse. Supporting a
mother when she is grieving the loss of a baby is critical--whether the
baby is lost to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, still birth, labor trauma,
SIDS, or any other reason. Yet grieving mothers may have much difficulty
finding the support they need. A mother's loss and grief are part of the
context in which she may mother now or in the future and in which she may
breastfeed now or in the future. Referring mothers to support is highly
appropriate and within the scope of lactation consulting.

Some resources are:

BabySteps (http://www.babysteps.com) "BabySteps is named after the baby
steps that form the long and difficult road to recovery from the loss of a
child. No parent, relative or friend is immune from the pain that results
from the loss of a young loved one. The BabySteps Children's Fund is a not
for profit organization dedicated to raising funds for research into
childhood illnesses and their treatments."

The Compassionate Friends (http://www.compassionatefriends.org) "The
mission of The Compassionate Friends is to assist families toward the
positive resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age and
to provide information to help others be supportive. The Compassionate
Friends is a national nonprofit, self-help support organization that offers
friendship and understanding to bereaved parents, grandparents and
siblings. There is no religious affiliation and there are no membership
dues or fees."

Hygeia (http://www.hygeia.org/) "Hygeia is a global community for perinatal
health, loss and bereavement using new technology to share age-old feelings
and lessons. The Hygeia Foundation is a non-profit, tax-exempt organization
whose mission is to comfort those who grieve the loss of a pregnancy or
newborn child, and to alleviate the angst which accompanies the parenting
and caring for critically ill neonates."

SHARE (http://www.nationalshareoffice.com/) "SHARE is a not-for-profit
nondenominational organization providing support to those whose lives are
touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss,
stillbirth or newborn death. All information packets, correspondence, and
support are free of charge for bereaved parents." Includes links to other
online resources.

Community Resources: The LC should contact hospitals to find local support
groups and services. A grieving mother should not have to do the searching,
though she often is the one who must bear that burden, too.

Books:

Huntley, T. Helping Children Grieve When Someone They Love Dies. Augsburg,
MN: Augsburg Fortress 1991.

Kohn, I. & Moffitt, P. A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and
Support for You and Your Family. New York: Routledge 2000.

A reading list for adults (http://www.babysteps.com/rrrdad.html) and for
children (http://www.babysteps.com/rrrdch.html) in the resource section of
the BabySteps website.

I am very sorry for the loss of the baby. May all who are grieving find the
support they need.

Cynthia

Cynthia Good Mojab
Ammawell
Email: [log in to unmask]; Web site: http://home.attbi.com/~ammawell

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html