>>I noticed that several people have made reference to sending their formerly
breastfed baby, now seemingly grown up teen to college, and the feelings this
evolved.  I am no expert, but am working my way through this. I had some
practice when we sent my daughter to boarding school but that seemed
different, less permanent. I have been doing alot of soul searching, trying
to see if I did "everything" right, what I forgot to do, etc in raising my
children. My second child is now a senior so we are getting ready for him to
leave next summer.>>

Thanks, Barbara, for your observations and suggestions - all very true.

My long term nursling and former family bed sharer is now going into her
senior year in college.  The girl who others thought was "too dependent on
mom" as a baby and toddler is attending college 1500 miles away from home!

One of the hardest things I have ever done in my life was to say goodbye to
her in that parking lot 3 years ago and start the long ride back to
Massachusetts from Minnesota alone.  The odd experience I had was not only
grieving about leaving my "baby" so far away but also feeling extremely
jealous that I was not 18 again and down the hall from her in the dorm!  I
had gotten so wrapped up in college preparations that I had almost forgotten
that I was not going to be attending along with her. A book they had
mentioned to us at Parent's Orientation at St. Olaf College was Letting Go :
A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and
Madge Lawrence Treeger.  It was very helpful to me in coping during the next
few months.

But I can say that it does get better.  And those phone calls and e-mails
full of excitement and tears remain plentiful enough to assure you that they
are still "attached" - if not in body then in mind and heart!  The
breastfeeding and attachment parenting does make a difference!

Ruth Scuderi
Westfield, MA

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