Dear all:

I'm going to respond about a specific post this time, because I always find Morran's views 
interesting.  I actually am one of those who, right from the start, was trained that 
weaning was a gradual process of shifting from baby food (breastmilk) to the family food 
diet.  It was never presented as a withdrawal of breastfeeding, but a moving to 
something else.

In the United States, I think the term "weaning" has been used as "taking away" in a 
negative sense.  You "wean" children from pacifiers.  You "wean" children from sucking 
on their thumb.  You "wean" toddlers from clinging to your leg at nursery school.  You 
"wean" babies from the breast.  "Weaning" among the moms I have worked with really 
means imposing your will to ensure your baby or child stops that "BAD BABY HABIT".  I 
sort of think of it in terms of how "breaking" a horse was used to define "training" a 
horse.  

I still think I prefer the concept of "weaning" as a gradual moving towards new things 
because of how the prevalent view that mothers are expected to impose their will to 
ensure that their babies stop the bad habit doesn't sit well with me.  

A long time ago, I read something by a psychologist (who unfortunately thinks 
breastfeeding past two years is a harmful bad habit) that actually caused me to think a 
little deeper about the weaning process.  Despite her views on the timing of weaning, she 
had lots of very good information about how to help your toddler start developing 
emotional independence, not by taking the breast away, but by assisting your toddler to 
develop verbal and physical coping strategies for the intense emotions that toddlers feel.  
Emotions were not to be rejected, but processed.  In many ways, the child who is in the 
process of weaning must develop and learn how to do all the things that breastfeeding 
provides.  For instance:

Seek emotional comfort and emotional interaction with others in constructive ways 
(including being allowed to feel anger and sorrow and all those other so-called "negative" 
emotions that we sometimes think need to be suppressed).  

Develop a healthy relationship with all types of new flavors, textures, and temperatures 
of foods so that a healthy pattern of eating and enjoyment of a combination of healthy 
foods is established.  

Develop a healthy immune system that will take over once the child stops breastfeeding 
through a healthy balance of minimizing exposure to pathogenic bacteria without 
destroying the extremely important nonpathogenic bacteria.  All too often bacteria are 
presented as pathogens, when in fact we need them to be healthy.  

One could continue with all the things that breastfeeding initially provides.  I think here in  
Manhattan, women often forget about how breastfeeding fosters emotional development 
and are too often told that infants will have a fine immune system if they stop 
breastfeeding at three months despite the fact that it takes at least two years for the 
immune system to develop.

At the same time, there is a bit of hypocracy in my training in that we never called solids 
"weaning" foods.  They were "complementary" foods, meant to complement the 
breastmilk.  

Best, Susan Burger

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