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Subject:
From:
vicki & ryan hayes <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:01:08 -0400
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text/plain
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a few snips from CAROLYN HAX SYNDICATED COLUMNIST "Anxious grandma needs to back off"
"Dear Carolyn: I am the proud grandmother of two beautiful granddaughters, 5 months old and 2 months old. They are the daughters of two of my sons, the first for each. I am impatient for the quality memories I have planned for. I have asked several times to have the girls for a few hours or overnight, and the mothers always give me excuses, which I am sure seem valid to them, such as they are breastfeeding, the babies don't like bottles,..the excuses seem never ending......Am I wrong to feel restricted, or am I just impatient?.....-- Somebody Call Me Grandma, Please!"
"Dear Grandma: .......What you want is to spend time with your grandbabies, so here's my best shot at getting you that time: Embrace spending time with their mothers....In other words, back off. Not completely, of course -- keep offering your love. But do offer it in the form of help for them, as opposed to emotional nourishment for you....

**Maybe most important, give them a little respect. Breastfeeding isn't an "excuse" for saying no to an extended visit, it's a reason. These are small babies whose nutrition is coming from Mom. If the mothers aren't pumping -- and why should they, if they neither have to nor choose to -- then mother and baby are a package deal** (amen!~vicki) Offer to watch the babies in their homes while the mothers nap, take a bubble bath, or read more than one page of a book...

Once you get the balance right -- of helping them with their babies versus demanding they offer up their babies to help you -- then you also get something else right that's essential to your cause. You align yourself as their advocate, someone who supports, reinforces and even enables their choices as mothers."

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/hax/358578_hax11.html
vicki hayes rn ibclc in brunswick ga
mom of sean (9/00), harrison (9/03), and lachlan (3/2006)(my sweet little nurseaholic!!)
www.myspace.com/that_username_is_taken

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