Jean Macomber wrote: "I have spoken with the nurse regarding thawing
milk/smells, etc. The problem is that the nurse informed the Mom that she
had thrown out the milk and now Mom is expressing fears about "bad milk"
and saying her milk is drying up... I am told by the nurse that the Mom
doesn't want to put the
babies to breast, but does want to provide "good milk" for them."

Just a few thoughts: How would this nurse feel about approaching the mother
anew and making a counter statement to her original one? Something like:
"Good Morning! I have such exciting news! I came across information (it
doesn't matter if it was just new to her) about how the smell of milk can
change with storage and thawing. Guess what?! That smell is absolutely no
indication of the quality of your milk!! Now I know that I shouldn't have
thrown out your wonderful milk. It's pure gold--full of things only you can
give your babies to get them healthy and strong enough to go home with you.
Let's get your supply built up so we can get them lots to eat and out of
the NICU!"

Or perhaps a temporary problem can be blamed, if there is one to blame
(e.g., a faulty container changed the smell of the milk, a pump wasn't
fully cleaned and bacteria got into the milk): the basic message being that
something went temporarily wrong and is now fixed. Her milk is good now.

The nurses words and actions seem to have been taken by the mother as
highly credible before. If some kind of a new statement is expressed with
authority, excitement and enthusiasm--perhaps with a physician nodding in
agreement--maybe this mother's confidence can be built back up to where it
was before the milk was declared "bad." Other options: who in her
family/community does she view as an authority? Are they willing to come
and give credible support for breastfeeding?

Cynthia

Cynthia Good Mojab, MS Clinical Psychology
(Breastfeeding mother, advocate, independent [cross-cultural] researcher
and author; LLL Leader and Research Associate in the LLLI Publications
Department; and former psychotherapist currently busy nurturing her own
little one.)
Ammawell
Email: [log in to unmask]
Web site: http://members.home.net/ammawell

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