My thoughts: open adoption is gaining ground, that is, the birth mother
knows who the adoptive mother/parents are.  If the 19 year old mother is
even considering supplying her milk to the baby, I would at least seriously
explore that route.  It might prove to be very exciting for all parties, and
what a gift for that baby to know its birth mother gave: acknowledging she
couldn't raise it, and wanting to do the best by it.  However long the
supply lasted would be better than nothing at all.  There is, of course, the
chance that breastfeeding would make it difficult or impossible for the
mother to allow the baby to go to the planned adoptive parents, and I think
all parties would benefit from acknowledging that at the outset.

Excuse me if this sounds overly morbid as well, but since the adoptive
mother has a known potentially life-threatening illness, it might be an even
better idea not to push the birth mother out into the usual void experienced
by relinquishing mothers.  She seems to be choosing adoption willingly, and
she sounds more mature than many.

Just my 30 ml,
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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