Virginia asks, rhetorically,

<< (I wonder if promotion of that idea has anything to do =
 with the increasing incidence of breastfeeding?) >>

I hear you, and I am sure that the commercial interests that live from
bottlefeeding love this trend.

However, in fairness, I think they merely piggybacked onto it rather than
starting it.   Breastfeeding has increased because of a generally increased
social awareness of the importance of bonding with your baby.  But in our
society men are not accustomed to being left out of anything good.  So if
moms are going to bond by feeding, you bet dads are going to get their
chance, too

I think when we deal with fathers (and grandmothers, to bring in another
recent thread) its important to remember that it IS a fun, sweet, bonding
experience to feed a baby, any loving way you can.   If we tell them it
isn't, they just think we don't get it, or that we are so "fanatical" about
our point of view that we can't understand any other value.

Instead, I find it more to the point to say, "Yup, I hear you, it is fun to
feed them, and they do gaze at you adoringly, and all that -- and maybe when
she gets a little bigger you'll get a chance to do it.   But for now its
better not to *even though it's delightful* because there are other, greater,
competing goods -- like letting her learn to bf well, and making sure her
mom's supply is well established for her, etc etc.    So give her a few weeks
first."  A few weeks doesn't sound like forever -- in fact, it isn't forever
-- but it does let you get bf off to a better start than if dad -- or grandma
-- is starting in with the bottles on day 2.

And IMO, if baby is several weeks old (lets say, 4-8 weeks) and mom wants to,
say, go get her hair cut, and is willing to express, and dad is willing to
feed it, and baby is willing to take it -- well, fine, let them all enjoy it.
  I know that my husband, who has never ever pressured me to let him feed
them when they were tiny, has been jubilant whenever that occasional day
finally did arrive.  And I would never trivialize that pleasure of his --
it's real.

But not on day 2.

Elisheva

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