Terry Lynn Dise:

Here's a technique I sometimes use when I am talking to a mother who has
decided not to breastfeed.

I tell the story about my mother who never intended to breastfeed me (in the
1940's) because nobody else was.  She tells me that she always wanted to try
just once when nobody was home to "see what it feels like" and that she
regrets that she never did.  I tell her that many women who are not
breastfeeding tell me they are tempted at one time or another to offer the
baby the breast in the quiet of their own home. If she feels that way  when
she gets home it's ok do that, especially if her breasts are getting full.
Why waste good stuff? I also encourage these mothers to think about
breastfeeding only once a day. ANY amount of breastmilk is good for the baby.
Most women think in terms of all or nothing. Sometimes that one "test" will
get a mother breastfeeding.

(This sometimes works for mothers who decide to abruptly wean. If they feel
they can handle breastfeeding once a day, it can keep them going until they
feel more in control.)

I don't know the cultural background of your patients, but some women will
never breastfeed until their milk comes in.  Hospital staff never know they
intend to breastfeed.

One more thing.  Instead of venting your anger, which would offend your
patients, consider venting your sadness that your adorable patient won't get
the opportunity to get any of that wonderful milk. "OOh, I'm so sad this cute
little munchkin will be missing out" Follow with "I talk to many women who do
not feel they can fit breastfeeding into their lives.  These decisions do not
have to be final for a while. You may feel differently when you get home.
 How do you feel about partial breastfeeding?"   (Open the door for the
mother to talk.)   And be supportive of her answer.

With these techniques you are not asking for a yes or no from the mother, but
are giving suggestions and getting her talking, and thinking.  She will pick
up on your interest in her baby by your non-threatening hints or open-ended
questions. Mother's DO care about their doctor's opinions.  And, by not
gently voicing your opinion, mothers will infer that you think both methods
are equivalent. (There is a citation for that, but I don't have it here. Is
there a lurker who has it, or do I need to dig for it tomorrow?)

Thank you for what you do for the women who are fortunate to be your
patients.

Karen Koss
SOOOOOOOOOOO glad to be back on-line.