Hi Ruth Sweet,

You got a toughie. I got one of 'em too. Mom 45, dad 54, infertility workup
after many miscarriages, then they had TRIPLETS. Premie, of course, and born
at a hospital 40 miles away that they chose for the "services." They are
woefully unprepared. Talk about being thrown into the deep end - going from
the abstract idea of "baby" to having total care of three live, wiggling,
bundles needed mom and dad to be tuned in 24 hours a day. Hope they, and your
case family, figure out that they need to start swimming, and fast. Nobody's
gonna "do" these babies for them. Like you said, they need other members of
their tribe to surround them with love and support. This is far, far more
than a BF issue.

On a more specific note, your case parents are showing signs of attachment
deficits by their wanting/needing to be rescued all the time. She needs to
get to a LLL or other support group meeting, even if the BF isn't going well
yet. And they need to get naked with their baby and lose the technology.
Touch is what it's all about.  It's gonna be a long road for them till they
feel comfortable with this baby.

Linda Smith, buried in SNOW today!
Private practice, Dayton OH