Below is the post from Diane Wiessinger which I mentioned earlier that she
wrote in response to my own delimma of upsetting a mom-to-be with talk of
formula risks; I quote it with her permission.   Barbara Latterner, BSN, RN, IBCLC

> "Boy, it's so hard to avoid offending the willing-to-be-offended.  Several
> thoughts ran through my head while I read this.  One was the woman who made
> me realize the phrasing mattered.  She'd been coming to League meetings for
> several months, and when I *asked* if perhaps we had it backwards, her response
> was "I give formula to my baby sometimes.  There's nothing wrong with my
> baby and there's nothing wrong with formula."  And I thought, "Have we really
> done right by her, withholding information on the harm unnecessary formula
> does?  She's one of the women who doesn't *need* it at all, and we haven't said a
> word to her about the value of avoiding it."
> Another thought was Michal (sp?) Young, the Wash DC MD who really lays it on
> the line with new moms.  One new mother threw her out of her hospital
> room... then came angrily into Dr Young's office, practically shouting,  "Okay,
> tell me what I need to do to get this breastfeeding stuff started.  After what
> you said I can't stand putting a bottle in my baby's mouth."
>
> And another, sadder, thought was that maybe any time there's a major shift
> in thought *some* people will get hurt.  But in trying to prevent that, we end
> up allowing many *other* people to slip by uninformed.  Maybe "collateral
> damage" is unavoidable.
>
> And along with that the thought that there will inevitably also be women who
> *do* get the message and who *can't* find the support, or who can't make it
> work even with support.  And then I think, "but that doesn't change reality.
> Formula is damaging.  We're stuck with it for the moment, but as long as we
> see it as acceptable, we won't get those oh-so-necessary milk banks back.
> There's just no way to move forward without a small number of people getting
> hurt.  Or rather, if we try not to hurt *anyone*, then lots more people will
> ultimately get hurt."
>
> My favorite approach is still "making the journey with the mother" - talking
> about how I always said breast is best and then one day had this
> realization... and if formula isn't better or equal, then... and what a scary thought
> that was, and how it sort of changes things for me, and I don't know what to do
> with the information, except to say that that's the reality of it and we
> need to take it into account...
>
> Sounds to me as if you did a wonderful job with it.  Maybe this mom won't
> come back... and maybe she'll be like the one in Michal Young's case and come
> storming back later (maybe even with a subsequent baby if she doesn't come
> now), finally angry at the right people - which aren't herself or her mother or
> you - and ready to give it a go."  Diane Wiessinger
>
>
>
>



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