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From:
"Johnson, Martha (Lactation-SHMC)" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 27 May 2001 09:27:47 -0700
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Dear Ellen and Lactnet,
Check out the stats quoted in the current issue of JHL in the article by
Bronner et al, on Breast feeding Peer Counseling: Rationale for the National
WIC Survey.  The authors write: "Prenatal and postpartum education conducted
by health professionals alone, however, has had limited success in
increasing duration of breastfeeding."  They go on to cite several studies
which have demonstrated this.
  Having learned a few years ago that I can only do my best, and the moms
and dads have to take it from there, I was happy to see that this
perspective is backed by research.  I do think we specialists and lactivists
are an essential part of helping to change the culture, but it is good for
us to remember that we are only a part of that change, and that for the
whole culture to change, new parents will need support from their extended
families, their friends and neighbors, their bosses, and their governments!
 in the spirit of public health--
Martha Johnson RN IBCLC
Eugene Oregon
Pacific Northwest USA

-----Original Message-----
From: ellen [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Sunday, May 27, 2001 7:03 AM
Subject: empowerment


In reply to Cheryl Parrots posting on the 24th (I am still a bit behind)
(re 3 moms that stopped bf'g.

And exactly how many moms manage to carry on a satisfying breastfeeding
relationship due to your
compassionate assistance?

Long ago I learned that we cannot always be there for everyone. We have to
take into account that our ultimate goal is to empower the moms so that they
will be able to carry on without us seeing or speaking to them every single
day. There will always be those who will decide to give up, but I don't for
one minute feel that we are to be blamed. (even though it feels like you
either want to cry or knock some sense into them). There are those who we
spend literally all of our waking hours either physically assisting them, or
following up with calls because we are as anxious as they when things aren't
going just right. We want to know how they managed so even if we have spent
hours with them, we are the ones to call them up to find out how they have
managed with our advice. (and what would happen if they would call to let us
know??? and I don';t mean to bash all the moms either (for a change) but
often  we chase them up. I am always so thankful and express appreciation
for those who do actually call me to share and thank me! But I have come not
to expect that.  How many of us have spent sweat and tears, finally getting
that preemie to take the breast, we go and consult with all our medical
laison people to find out about very special cases and IMHO we go way beyond
the call of duty (especially as volunteers!) only to follow up and find out
that after we have gone through everything possible - (expressing milk for
months!, encouragement calls for those same months!, being present when the
baby arrives home to ensure getting off to a good start, follow up visit,
calls, consults, etc..........) to find that a week later after all is
"fine" the baby is being put to the breast ONCE A DAY!!!!!! Disappointment -
yes. But more. sorry for the baby, and sorry for the mom who obviously just
didn't "get it".

After a number  of these things happen, one can lose sight of the positive
outcomes of our efforts.
We have to remain positive and remember all those special cases and moms who
really benefitted and will yet benefit from our care.  Some moms are also
looking for a "way out" or a legitimization of their (lesser) choice.  We
can just wish them good luck and enjoyment from raising their children.
Those who are really committed to bf'g will state this and try even harder.
I find some of those, (I don't want to say Most because I don't have the
stats to support it) don't sound even that remorseful. Meaning that they are
satisfied with their decision.  WE have to move on to the next moms waiting
in line and start with renewed enthusiasm that we will be able to help them
and empower them to help themselves. We cannot possibly have 100% success
rates. I don't think anyone does in any field.!

Ellen Shein, IBCLC in a sad Israel today and for the past few days.
thanks to those of you who sent private messages.

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