Diane wrote: <I think the women who end up as bottlenecks rather than
conduits simply have never seen that window on the wider world. They
honestly don't *know* what they don't know. They've come to believe
(through poor instruction or no instruction or through a lack of
professional inquisitiveness) that the skills they have are a world in
themselves.>

And Jean wrote: <In addition your theory is pftem applies to males as
well--fathers, and other significant male relatives, and also many male
HCP's.>

When I look back at what I didn't know 20, 10, 5 years ago...or even 1 year
ago, it always give me reason to think about all the things that I must not
know now. And that I do not even know that I don't know. That's the nature
of human development. The potential for growth and learning is always
there. The world--and every aspect of living in it--is too complex for any
of us to ever understand in its entirety. Motherhood is the most profound
invitation to personal growth that I have ever experienced, that I imagine
I will ever experience, and that I ever found the courage to accept. If I
had become a parent 10 or 20 years ago, I am absolutely certain that I
would not be doing the things I am doing now--because I couldn't know then
what I know now. And it would have been much harder for me to accept
motherhood's invitation to continue my own development. We say "yes" when
we are ready and able. Everyone has their own personal and cultural history
that impacts their timetable for and approach to development. When someone
else's timetable for and approach to personal and/or professional
development negatively affects something important to me (such as
breastfeeding!), I may (understandably!) feel anything from mild
frustration to outright anger. I also understand that we are all only
human: my own ignorance has as much potential to cause challenges to others
as theirs does to me. What a challenge we all have to keep learning and
growing--individually as well as together!

Warmly,

Cynthia

Cynthia Good Mojab, MS Clinical Psychology
(Breastfeeding mother, advocate, independent [cross-cultural] researcher
and author; freelance writer; LLL Leader and Research Associate in the LLLI
Publications Department; and former psychotherapist currently busy
nurturing her own little one.)
Ammawell
Email: [log in to unmask]
Web site: http://msnhomepages.talkcity.com/SupportSt/ammawell

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