My husband and I took Bradley method childbirth classes with our first
child thirteen years ago.  The obstetrician told us afterwards that his
"Bradley" mothers managed labor better than anyone else.  Knowing how
radical and rigid people think we in the lactation field are, I think we
need to try and be compassionate to this couple.  People who like
control (myself being one) naively think they can control birth and
everything after.  It takes a baby to teach someone just how silly this
notion is.  This mother doesn't have her baby - the hospital does.  Is
there anyway to help give her some measure of control with this child?
Help her count up the positive things that happened with her birth (it
doesn't sound like there was much there for her to see as 'going
right'). It is very hard to parent a preemie and this mom has to deal
with giving up the "perfect birth experience" and now is being told she
can't parent the way she planned.  Remember how hard it is to let go of
your dreams and accept reality. This mother may be rigid but she is also
probably grieving and coping and needs some help (maybe a social
worker?).

Moving on to another subject, I have much preferred the tenor of the
messages lately to the ones that were being sent earlier this summer.
No one should have to be afraid to send a message to this list serve
because they think they are going to be cyberflamed.   I personally
don't like the physician bashing because I work with them and have on
the whole found doctors to be very caring compassionate people who want
what is best for the patient.  There are a few useless ones just as
there are a few useless LCs (flame away, I can cyber duck).  Just don't
denigrate the whole profession because of a few misguided ones.  Venting
specifically at the one specific physician who is causing you difficulty
is okay.   And I agree that the delete key is the most important one on
my keyboard.
Debi Lanning
St. Petersburg, FL.