Dear Diane:  What a mess!  I don't have an answer, just an observation and a
suggestion.

First the observation:  A double bind is seldom a choice between a good and a
bad choice.  Those choices are easy.  A double bind constitutes a choice
between 2 courses of action that are rather similar.  They may both be
apparantly good, or both equally bad.  Consequently, its hard to discern what
to do.  In this case:  If you go, you get a chance to publically educate
about ABM and ethics.  If you don't go, you get a chance to publically model
a stand on ABM and ethics.  Who will be alienated by your action if you go
and speak up?  Who will be alienated if you stay away?  Which 'good' do you
pick? Which "bad" do you most avoid? The solution to a double bind occurs on
a higher plain than rational argument.  What does your heart say to do?  So
long as you don't take their money, you're ok either way.

A suggestion for the future: Always assume there will be a formula co. rep
looking for a way to get in on a bfg presentation.  I learned this yrs. ago
as an LLLL when I organized an in-service for hospt. RNs and arrived to find
fliers all over saying the talk was sponsored by Ross (because they were
paying for a snack table for the nurses.)  I told them I wouldn't come until
all the fliers were taken down.  I left the choice up to them.  The fliers
came down, there was no snack table, and we talked.

The first time I lectured at Univ. of Texas at Austin School of Nursing, I
was horrified to discover (after they had printed them) that the program
brochures showed a baby bottle floating in mid-air over a baby buggy!  I made
an over-head of the flier and used it in the introduction part of my talk as
an illustration of how pervasive the bottle is as an emblem of infancy, and
how this undermines bfg.  I played it for laughs, and it was a real
consciousness raiser.

Now when I am asked to speak I clarify in the first few minutes that I don't
accept any formula money for funding, speaker fees, food, or exhibits.  I
specify that companies and organizations who support the WHO code are ok.  I
also ask for preliminary approval of fliers.  None of this has ever cost me a
job yet.

What an awkward position you have been placed in, Diane. You have my
sympathies!

Barbara Wilson-Clay, BSE, IBCLC
priv. pract. Austin, Tx
p.s.  I'm working on getting those slides copied for you.