Pat, I would second what Jack said. A white tongue is not always thrush,
but if the mother has thrush-like syptoms she should be treated
regardless of thrush in baby or not. Sometimes if the baby has a
persistent white tongue I take a swab from the tongue: if positive for
candida baby should be treated with an antifungal 4 times a day, if
negative I would treat baby once a day until mother's pain has gone.

Also, I like "Are you feeding the baby yourself" - this is how I would
usually phrase it. And just to repeat, in Australia we would never say
"nursing your baby" to mean feeding - Sometimes I offer to "nurse the
baby" (ie hold her) while the mother is washing her hands after changing
a nappy or whatever!

Lisa Amir
GP / IBCLC in Melbourne, Australia