I read through all the posts on this thread that came AFTER Liz's challenge
to Karleen and Marcia, and was so relieved when finally Laurie posted what I
was missing in the earlier posts:  If you stop trying, you will end up with
a weaned baby.

It's difficult to predict, and especially about the future.  This is my
current mantra, and a great source of solace as I become more and more
grateful for my inability to see into the future because I prefer not to
know what new rotten trick fate is about to play on me, and would rather
just try my hardest to live life as it comes.  

We do know that if you stop feeding frequently or expressing, in the case of
a baby who is not at the breast, your supply will diminish.  I don't
hesitate to say that with conviction.  Makes me almost wonder why I do
hesitate to say, if you continue frequent stimulation and milk removal, your
supply will definitely increase, but the most I will commit to is to say
that supply will not lessen.

Well, I know why I hesitate.  Because these mothers are often emotional
wrecks by the time we are having this conversation and I can't bear to set
them up for more dashed expectations.  When they ask if it's going to be
worth it, I am very clear that only they can make that call.  But I make it
just as clear that I have worked with a lot of mothers and have yet to hear
from a single one who wished she had stopped her efforts sooner.  I say this
because I know she will not hear those words from anyone else and she needs
to know it to inform her own decision fully.  

We also talk about how breastfeeding isn't just about the milk.  I use the
phrase I heard first from Mia Westlund, hobby breastfeeding, which is
breastfeeding just for recreation even when you are sure the baby isn't
getting anything at all.  I let them know that many hobby breastfeeders have
ended up as just plain breastfeeders and even the ones that don't have
enjoyed it as long as it lasted.

I say, here are some things you can try for the next week until we meet
again, and you can phone or e-mail me in the meantime if you need a pep
talk.  I make it very clear that they are welcome to call me no matter how
they are feeling, even to tell me they are sick to death of all of it and
are going to stop, and I will still love them and they can keep their next
appointment so we can wrap things up and have real closure.  I encourage
them not to keep close tabs on amounts, but rather to wait several days
before doing a rough estimate of production through a twenty-four hour
period again.  Watching every drop and wondering why you got a bit less this
session than last session is just no fun.   But noticing that the baby is
now staying latched and interested for a quarter of an hour, and even
seeming satiated sometimes, or that the amount you got three days ago from
both breasts is less than what you now get from one, is uplifting.  By that
time, even babies who had grown impatient and started refusing to latch are
often able to be persuaded to come back, and then the real enjoyment begins.


There are times when I curse the strict pharmaceutical regs here that make
it well nigh impossible for mothers to use domperidone, but really, the
majority of mothers who struggle to get sufficient milk into their babies
are most helped by the frequent, effective stimulation and milk removal that
results from making sure baby is up to the task and keeping the baby close.
In some ways it's a blessing not to have the option of pharmaceuticals
because there is no way around the necessity for frequent feeding.

If there are things that were done wrong in the hospital which led to the
current problem, I also file an incident report in our quality monitoring
system, since all the mothers I see have had their babies at my hospital, it
being the only one in the region.

Women who have come close to losing their breastfeeding relationship and who
are supported as they take steps to turn the situation around are extremely
grateful.  Good help is shockingly hard to come by and they have the sense
to recognize it and appreciate it when they get it.  It's a privilege to be
able to work with them.

Rachel Myr
Looking forward to the next appointment with such a mother this week, in
Kristiansand, Norway

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome