>I'll keep reminding myself that as well as "meeting the 
>mother where she is" I also need to "find out exactly where she wants to 
>go" and work with these things in mind.
>Sometimes we're so intent on persuading someone to go to that good place 
>of our ideals that we forget this.

Jo-Anne wisely points out complications in my showerhead analogy.  I've noticed that my new showerhead doesn't generate as much mist.  In our area, there are minor radon problems.  One of the hazards of radon is that it can be inhaled in shower mist and can, over the years, cause lung cancer.  So it could be that another benefit of my new showerhead is that it will save my life.  

Breastfeeding saves lives, too, so meeting a mother where she is - if where she is is a desire to formula-feed - isn't and shouldn't be our only goal.  Yes, we're out to shape her values, if only slightly.  

Another analogy I have in my head is those plates that jugglers spin on the end of a stick.  In order to make the plate stay up there, they have to find the balance point, and that's going to be different for every plate.  I've taken to starting some of my talks with this statement:

Every loving mother does, *by definition* the very best balancing act she can do.  Not the best she can do for her child, but the best she can do for her corner of the world.  When she has more information and more support, how she balances the parts of her world may change, but motherhood is *always,* for every one of us, a balancing act, and it is reasonable sometimes for breastfeeding to lose out.  What is *not* reasonable - what no mother should have to accept - is for breastfeeding to lose out because of lack of information or lack of support.   

Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC  Ithaca, NY  USA
www.wiessinger.baka.com


             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html